Issue Left (Liberals/Democrats) Right (Conservatives/Republicans)
Abortion It's the individual's choice. Y'all murderers.
A fetus is not a life form. A fetus has its own rights.
Government should provide Government doesn't murder.
resources for decision.
Affirmative Government should help People should try to get on
Action minorities get to the "white the "white level" by them-
level." selves, based on skill not race.
Death
Penalty MURDERERS! THEY DESERVE IT!
Economy Government regulates economy. WOO! CAPITALISM!
Evil corporations, mee-ann.
We tell the government what we
want, we get it.
Education Public school=good Vouchers=good
(voucher Vouchers=bad Parents should choose the
and charter Teachers should be paid more. school.
schools) Class sizes should be reduced.
Government should help improve
public schools in general.
Embryonic If you don't want to die, scientists Use adults and their stem
Stem Cell should experiment on embryos, cells, you murderers.
Research which aren't life forms, and their Scientists can still cure
stem cells for medical reasons. diseases.
Energy I don't know if you know this, but Plenty of dead dino goo
there are these things called non- left and it'll be cheaper
renewable resources. Yeah, if we drill in America.
getting energy from the sun, wind
and water can last, get this, forever.
Global
Warming It's real. It's killing our planet. We What are we talking about
need to do something. again?
Gun
Control The 2nd Amendment only allows Clearly the 2nd Amend-
the state to keep a militia, which ment states citizens have
is called the National Guard. the right to have guns.
Guns are bad and people die. We should have the right
Government should protect us, to protect ourselves
not us protecting ourselves. Crime deters with guns
in the hands of lawful
Americans.
Health Government should create Let our free market
Care some sort of national free or economy take care of
cheap health care so all the people who can't
Americans can afford it and afford health care.
be covered. God knows government
health care won't be as
good as from producers.
Homeland Not all Arabs/Muslims are Yes...they...are.
Security terrorists and not all terrorists Extra security checks
are Arab/Muslim, you racists. shouldn't be random but
effective to keeping
airports and people safe.
Immigration Legal or illegal immigrants Illegal immigrants are
are okay and should be treated called "illegal" for a
as equal American citizens. reason: they're broken
the law and do not
deserve to be treated as
equal American citizens.
Border should be more
secured.
Religion vs. This one kind of speaks to We agree, we shouldn't
Government itself. Religion and government be run by a church, but
should be separate and not people have the right to
influence one another to run religious expression and
our country. Any reference can reference God any-
to God or any religious express- where they please, such
ion should not be part of our as the Trinity on a
government. government building.
That's fine. The govern-
ment should not keep
anyone from religious
freedom. It's a right
in the Constitution.
Gay Marriage Homophobes. Look, we really just
don't want them to
get married (although
homosexuality is a
choice, is pretty weird
and strange, and can
be cured/is against all
religion). Guys with
girls for marriage.
That's it. Period.
Taxes Look, the rich, they have a No, no, NO! Lower
bunch of money and it's far taxes and limit the
more than they need. The government. Every-
government should tax the one needs to learn to
rich more and should be big to work, get paid, and
enough to help everyone making a living for
become equal, especially themselves without
the poor, who need the most the government really
help. helping us.
Terrorism We did this to ourselves These terrorists need
(cough, cough, Iraq, cough, to be eradicated, and
cough) you know. Also, eradicated now! They
we can fight terrorism with don't want peace, so
peace, not war. One more we'll give 'em war!
thing: captured terrorists Iraq was not a mistake.
should be convicted in We needed to do what
good ol' normal people we needed to do. Also,
courts and handled by terrorists are terrorists,
normal law enforcement. and should be convicted
in military courts as
enemies. They're fault,
not ours.
Welfare Tax money should go to Poor people need to
helping the poor, who need learn to get their own
the most out of all of us. jobs, get paid, and
I mean, c'mon, don't you have make their own living
a heart? They need our help as individuals, not look
and we should help them. to the government to help.
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